A Guide To Recognizing Your Hospital Saints: Nurses Edition

It’s time for another lesson on hospital personnel recognition. This time, it’s the nurses’ turn!

KINGDOM: Nurses

Nurses are one of the most important kingdoms in the hospital ecosystem. Amongst those in the Kingdom Nurses, there are several categories.

Nursing then and now

Nursing then and now via/via

Phylum: Certified Nurses Aides/Licensed Practical Nurses

CNAs and LPNs are certified in specific nursing tasks. In the hospital, they may be found taking your blood pressure, setting up medical equipment, and assisting in other tasks.

Phylum: Registered Nurses

Likely the most common kind of nurse you’ll encounter in the exotic environment known as the hospital. They may work in any field, in any area of the hospital. As opposed to the previous phylum, registered nurses have degrees in nursing. Continue reading

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A Guide To Recognizing Your Hospital Saints: Doctor Edition

And I understand now, maybe not completely, but more, that in times of overwhelming joy, immobile sadness, hysterical laughter, absolute fear, and sometimes just perfect quiet there is Life. [And residency.]

/Dito Montiel, A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints [Added by me]

 

When the topic of my employment comes up, as it must inevitably do in the culture of American small talk, people become confused.

“You’re a fellow?,” they say, hesitantly, “…so that means you’re in residency?”

Or,

“You’re a fellow?…So that’s like an intern, right?”

Or,

“You’re a fellow?…But I thought you were a girl.”

 

I’m kidding about the last one. But despite the continued popularity and abundance television shows and movies taking place in hospitals, confusion remains around the roles of the vast horde of people milling around the hospital who will inevitably meet you, poke you, prod you, and wake you up at 5 am to check on you.

stop rounding time

thanks to via

It’s definitely a hard thing to understand, especially when you’re overwhelmed by your medical situation and the atmosphere of controlled, chlorinated chaos contained in a very sterile-looking room. Even those aforementioned shows and movies don’t identify hospital staff correctly – an intern as a resident, a neurologist as a neurosurgeon, etc – and it’s like commotion cordis every time.

So for all you filmmakers, for all you television writers, and for all who will eventually come face-to-face with medical staff of some sort, here’s a quick guide to recognizing your (hospital) saints (non-canonical, with all apologies to Papa Francesco): Doctor Edition

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